


Even Stars Can Die

by StarsLikeVenus



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, after the rise of skywalker
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Implied Poe Dameron/Finn, Kylo Ren Redemption, M/M, Original Character(s), Protective Ben Solo, Redeemed Ben Solo, Strong Female Characters, main character is a badass, star wars alternate reality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:53:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25111918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarsLikeVenus/pseuds/StarsLikeVenus
Summary: *Also on Wattpad!Tenaega Bitae is hunting down Ben Solo who was once Kylo Ren.  Hurt by Kylo leaving her behind and joining the Resistance, Tenaega wants to get rid of Ben once and for all.  Without the First Order, Tenaega has no one: but maybe she now has Ben...*This is an alternate reality where Ben didn't die at the end of The Rise of Skywalker, (lol) and joined the Resistance.  Tenaega is an original character who was trained by Kylo Ren and worked for the First Order.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn, ben solo x original character





	1. Chapter 1

***Also on Wattpad!**

Tenaega Bitae is hunting down Ben Solo who was once Kylo Ren. Hurt by Kylo leaving her behind and joining the Resistance, Tenaega wants to get rid of Ben once and for all. Without the First Order, Tenaega has no one: but maybe she now has Ben... 

*This is an alternate reality where Ben didn't die at the end of The Rise of Skywalker, (lol) and joined the Resistance. Tenaega is an original character who was trained by Kylo Ren and worked for the First Order. 


	2. Chapter 1: Seemingly Heartless

“That’s not the way I like to do things,” 

Her voice was icy, filling the already freezing room with her harsh tone, the man in front of her seeming to wince at her words, writhing on the uneven stone floor. 

“ _ Please _ ,  Tenaega , just give me more time, I can bring him to you, just let me go!” 

Her joyless laugh echoed off the walls, shaking her head as she leaned closer to the man and pressed her sleek knife closer to his throat. Her other hand reached out to pat his cheek, humiliating him even further. 

Tenaega  knew full well that the man below her was utterly useless, that she had wasted her time with him. She should have known that she’d have to take care of this task herself. 

“Tell me where he is, scum.” She briefly touched his face with the cool, flat edge of the knife, the warmth of his skin causing the silver to fog up. “Or I’ll use this blade on your pretty little neck after I get rid of your family.” 

“He’s in  Ajan Kloss , on one of the moons.” His bloodshot eyes were bulging in fear, cold sweat coating his pores. “But I don’t know which one.” 

Satisfied with his answer,  Tenaega  stood up and sheathed her knife in the leather holster strapped to her thigh, now towering over the pathetic man below her. Now that she knew which planet he was on, she could figure out the rest.  _ I got him.  _

“That wasn’t so hard, now was it?” She cooed at him, starting to make her way out of the building, heading to the cracked door where streams of light were breaking through, barely brightening the dull stones. 

“He has friends, powerful friends,” his voice cracked as he called after her, watching her warily as she stopped inches away from the door, turning around to look at him. “He's training people, more that are like him.” 

“That’s what makes this so much more fun.”  Tenaega  smiled at him deceivingly as she slowly walked back to where he was still kneeling on the floor. “The more  _ Jedi  _ I get to kill, the better.” 

The man’s mouth dropped open in a silent scream, his eyes already beginning to dim as  Tenaega  sliced through him with her lightsaber, its red light matching the color of his blood seeping through his clothes. With a smirk, she twisted the hilt slightly, digging it into him just a  _ little  _ bit deeper before ripping it out of him entirely, the smell of burning fabric and blood mixing with the musty smell of the stone room. 

The heels on her tall boots clicked across the uneven ground as she exited the building, stepping into wilting sunshine as she left the man’s mangled body behind. She got the information she had come for, and now she could  _ finally  _ finish what she started. 

For almost three years now,  Tenaega  had been hunting Kylo Ren, the man who now called himself _ Ben Solo.  _ He had abandoned her, left  Tenaega  for some  _ girl _ , left because he was being called to the light.  _ How pathetic.  _

But now  Tenaega  could show him what he had given up on, the potential that he threw away, all because of some stupid, poorly trained Jedi. 

With hardly any thought, she removed her blaster from her belt of weapons and shot at the people who were rushing towards her as she made her way to her ship, not even thinking twice as she pulled the trigger, ignoring the sound of their bodies dropping to the ground. A small, satisfied sigh escaped her as she boarded her old, rundown TIE fighter, plopping in her seat and putting in the coordinates for the  Cademimu sector in the Outer Rim. 

She expertly started its engine and began her trip back out of this snowy, desolated system she was in, happy to leave behind what once was a great city. Yawning, Tenaega fiddled with the controls and jolted to lightspeed once she was out of the planet’s atmosphere, ignoring the fact that she was slowly becoming nervous, the foreign feeling creeping up behind her, reminding her of past emotions,  _ weak  _ emotions. 

Tenaega wasn’t the same person she was before Kylo left. Back then, when Kylo was training her, Tenaega had been timid, afraid to test her power, terrified of upsetting him and not wanting to disappoint the First Order. But now all of that was gone; the First Order had been dismantled and obliterated by the Resistance and Kylo Ren was now Ben Solo once more. 

Both the First Order and Kylo Ren had disappointed her, so Tenaega was now on her own, fighting for herself instead of for others. She had spent so long being broken; first being abandoned by her family, then eventually by Kylo when his obsession with a girl named Rey took over him. 

A faint mumbling coming from the communication system in the TIE Fighter broke the silence surrounding her, tearing Tenaega from her thoughts. 

“Tens, do you copy?” 

“Yes Hugo, I copy. And I know where he is: in the Cademimu sector.” 

“So, I guess you’re finally going to take care of him,” 

She smiled to herself, the sound of Hugo’s voice never failing to brighten her seemingly always dark mood. “I’m on my way now. Are you sure you don’t want to join me? It could be fun you know, killing the man who screwed us over.” 

He chuckled, his laugh making a crackling sound through the system. “Not this time, Tenaega. Just make sure you get back to me in one piece.” 

“Roger that, ‘trooper.” 

“Hey, and be careful, ok?” 

“Signing off, Hugo, I’ll contact you later.” 

Taking a deep breath, she cut the line in between her and Hugo before making the final jump to reach the planet and its moons. 

Once all of this was over, once she had gotten rid of the man who had hurt her most, Tenaega could finally let go, move on from the pain of the past. She could spend the rest of her days running around and doing whatever she wanted; she and Hugo could become like some sort of bounty hunters, using their skills that very few still had. 

Hugo could pretend he never was a StormTrooper for the First Order and Tenaega could pretend she was never abandoned by the people she loved,  _ over and over again.  _

Something was pulling Tenaega towards one of the moons in the system, something strong, rebuilding a connection, a feeling she hadn’t felt in years. And she knew, that’s where he was. 

_ I’m coming for you Kylo, I’m fucking coming for you.  _


	3. Chapter 2: Bitter Thoughts, Sickening Reminders

Tenaega stalled the engine, allowing the TIE Fighter to drift in space just outside of the moon she was about to land on, giving her time to clear her mind, process her thoughts.  _ Come up with a plan.  _

She was about to face an entire base of Resistance members who were working to restore the New Republic. Tenaega was confident she could handle them, but going face to face with her old master? Someone she was pretty sure she was in love with? Now that, that was what she wasn’t confident she’d be able to do. 

Kylo Ren had discovered Tenaega when he first destroyed Luke Skywalker’s temple and began being trained by Snoke. He had been drawn to her, sensing her loneliness, her despair, her desire to belong: all the things he felt himself. Both of their brokenness tied them together, making it easy for both of them to fuel their power with their combined anger, their hatred. 

Her family had abandoned her when she was just a teenager, absolutely disgusted and terrified by her power with the Force. Luke Skywalker had also recognized her power and sought her out, wanting to train her along with his new group of students. But her parents refused. They hated the New Republic and anything related to the Jedi religion, having been huge supporters of the Empire and helped with the fall of the Galactic Republic. 

So when she begged them to let her train with Skywalker, they cast her out of their home and left, leaving her to fend for herself on one of the moons in the Yavin system. For years, Tenaega had to figure out how to survive on her own, just trying to ignore the pull she felt to the Force, not having a teacher to help her and the need to find food to keep herself alive being a more pressing matter. 

Tenaega hardly hesitated when Ren showed up and offered to be her Master, the only downside being having to work for the First Order. But at that point, she was willing to do anything, anything to survive, anything to feel like she belonged. 

And being with Kylo, that was the only time she felt like she had a place. He was hard on her as he was with everyone, but he didn’t treat her like she was diseased, like her capabilities were a hindrance. Tenaega was able to learn quickly, able to easily surrender herself to the Darkside of the Force, something Kylo himself struggled to do. 

And she never looked back, never desired to go back to where she was before, had no desire to give up her power and become weak once more. 

Before Kylo abandoned his place in the First Order, Tenaega adored him, admired his strength and capabilities, wanting to be just like him. They worked together constantly which allowed them to build a close relationship, a bond. But he threw it all away, all because of the Force, because of that stupid girl.  _ Rey.  _

Tenaega took several deep, calming breaths before she started the engine of the TIE Fighter again, deciding where on the moon she should land, where she wouldn't be noticed right away. As she entered the atmosphere, she couldn’t help but feel somewhat in awe of the beautiful, luscious greenery that encased the moon, having been used to living with Hugo on Tatooine, quite the opposite of the Cademimu sector. 

But in many ways, the visual appeal of this planet reminded Tenaega of when she lived on Yavin, the surrounding environment being similar to what she once reluctantly called home. Immediately, she no longer appreciated the beauty of her surroundings, hating being reminded of all that time she spent alone, fighting to survive, desperately wanting to belong somewhere, with  _ someone _ . 

She moved slowly in the TIE as she landed, trying to make as little noise as possible, knowing that the ship was notorious for its loud movements. Hesitantly, she climbed out of her seat and stood on the soft earth beneath her, thick grass almost reaching the tops of her tall boots. Reaching back into the ship, she grabbed all the weapons her belt could hold, placing each one in its assigned place, straightening her clothes as she did so. 

And then she began to walk, ducking underneath branches of low hanging trees, slicing down vines that obstructed her path, and dodging the little animals that seemed to pop up all over the place. 

As she neared the sound of voices and people bustling around, she began to move more cautiously, paying closer attention to where she placed her feet in order to remain silent, unnoticed. Tenaega kept her hand on top of her lightsaber secured in its holster as Resistance members slowly came into view, prepared for anyone who might see her and decide to attack. 

Crouching behind a tree, she shut her eyes and started breathing deeply again, trying to calm the anxious, burning feeling in the pit of her stomach, and rid herself of the bitter taste on her tongue. 

There was no sign of him yet,  _ the bastard _ , just all the people that he had left her for. Tenaega found herself peeking around the wide tree trunk, watching the people go about their work but keeping a watchful eye for Rey or Ben, the two she came here for. 

Fury bubbled up inside her when Tenaega thought of Rey, the desire to absolutely destroy her while making Ben watch was overwhelming. Angry tears began to form in the corner of her eyes and she wiped them away furiously, knowing that crying was a sign of weakness. 

She just needed to get this over with, get rid of Rey, Ben, and as many Resistance members as she could before she could race back to her TIE Fighter and leave, leave everything behind and start a new life. 

But when he finally came into view, when she caught a glimpse of his dark hair, his tall build, and the glimmer of his deep brown eyes, Tenaega nearly forgot what she came for, trapped in a feeling she hadn’t felt since Kylo left. 

_ Since he left her.  _


	4. Chapter 3: Past, Present, Future

It felt as if time stopped as she watched him walk around the camp and interact with the people around him. Some of the people responded to him eagerly while others looked wary, no doubt still remembering him as he was in the First Order. 

Tenaega swallowed the lump forming in her throat and tried to lock away the pain in her chest when she looked at him, seeing him smile for the first time, seeing him speak softly and calmly, something she  _ never  _ saw him do before. She shook her head, physically trying to clear her mind as she continued to study him, planning her next move. Though her main focus was on Ben, she was also looking for Rey, but hadn’t been able to find her. 

She ducked back behind the tree again when she thought someone might have been looking her way, her heart rate accelerating dramatically. Her plan wouldn’t work if she was discovered first. She was greatly outnumbered, which meant she had to make the first move, taking them by surprise. 

As quietly as she could, Tenaega removed her lightsaber from her belt and ignited it, taking deep breaths and preparing for her attack. Before she had time to change her mind, she raced from her spot behind the tree and began slicing down anyone in her path. 

Screams and yells erupted as soon as she began her ambush, unsuspecting people becoming victim to her strength. Tenaega barely noticed the people she was killing, her main focus being Ben. Her skill proved to be her only asset against the number of people she was facing, but she could handle it, she  _ had  _ to get to him. 

With her saber in one hand and a blaster in another, she destroyed anyone who came running, loving the thrill of it, the way her arm trembled when she cut through someone’s chest. blood already oozing through their wounds. She shot blindly with her blaster while her saber was still lodged in a body, not caring who she hit, not caring who she killed. 

Tenaega had always been like this in battles and even in petty fights as a teenager. She loved the power that filled her, the blind rage that helped her to obliterate anyone against her. That was something that she and Kylo used to have in common, both seeking the taste of blood and the thrill of death. 

But as he charged towards her without recognizing who she was, bright blue lightsaber in hand, Tenaega knew with certainty that she was no longer looking at Kylo Ren, that the person she thought she was in love with was gone, replaced by the weak man he was now.  _ Ben Solo.  _

“Tenaega?”

He stopped dead in his tracks, watching her as she absentmindedly shot the person she had strangling on the ground with the Force, not noticing that the man was already dead. 

“Look at you,” she spat with a sneer, voice dripping with venom as she slowly approached him. “Look how  _ weak  _ you’ve become.” 

Keeping a wary eye on her, Ben crouched next to a body on the ground, checking to see if the person was still alive. He wasn’t. 

“Tens, what are you doing here?” 

“Making sure you’re left alone, just like you did to me.” 

They circled each other, each with lightsaber in hand, the red glow from Tenaega’s casting a wicked gleam across her face. Everyone else on the base stopped where they stood, watching them, waiting for Ben to give an order. Ben looked at her with a pained expression, realization of why she was there dawning on him. 

“Tenaega, I’m- I’m sorry, but-” 

“Save it, I don’t want to hear what you have to say. I came here to kill all the people you abandoned me for and make you watch before I kill  _ you.”  _

At the last word, Tenaega lunged at him, hoping to catch him off guard, but he countered her attack, the sparks from their crossed lightsabers making a pale purple color in the surrounding air. She couldn’t help but be distracted by the way the light illuminated his face, making his features exaggerated and more noticeable. 

“Tens, I  _ had  _ to leave, I was going to come back for you, save you too, bring you to the light!” 

With a snarl, Tenaega pushed him away and took a few steps back, panting and trying to force away the tears starting to fill her eyes, trying to regain her composure and muster the strength to do what she went there to do. 

“It’s not too late for you,” he slowly walked towards her with his hands up, expression soft, pleading. “The Darkside of the Force, it has lost its power. You could let go, move on from your past,  _ come to the light. _ ” 

Her heart raced as he drew nearer, extinguishing his saber and approaching her with open arms. She felt as if her feet were glued to the ground, her eyes locked on Ben’s, seeing the peace that rested there. His eyes no longer contained the anguish, the hurt, the desperation they used to have when she looked at him. Those eyes were what she loved most about him, she saw them in herself, felt the same things he did. 

She clamped a hand to her mouth as a sob escaped her lips. They had trained together, fought together, felt  _ alone  _ together. But now Tenaega was the only one who felt alone and Ben, Ben was  _ happy _ . 

A piercing scream was ripped from her chest as she went at him again, wanting to rid herself of this pain, this loneliness, all the hurt he caused her. But Ben was ready for that. 

Before she had time to think, Tenaega was pinned to the ground by Ben’s hand, the Force making it impossible for her to move. She continued screaming and thrashing as Resistance members appeared to put cuffs around her hands, Ben still holding her still with his invisible power. 

She spat and yelped and lashed out, much like a captured tiger, as two men dragged her away, holding her tightly as she struggled. All the while, Ben stood there, maintaining eye contact with Tenaega as she cursed his name, fighting to get away, just wanting to  _ kill _ . 

“Put her in the holding facility,” he finally looked away from her, quickly batting away the tears that had escaped onto his face. “Make sure she’s heavily guarded, obviously she’s stronger now than I thought she was.” He gestured sadly to the bodies covering the ground, trying to block out the sobs and cries he heard around him. 

Tenaega’s actions, everything she had just said and done, terrified Ben to his core. That anguish, the pain that was evident in her eyes and in her words, all reminded Ben of himself, reminded him of the horrors of his past, the past that Tenaega was a part of. 

But now, it seemed she was now part of his future as well. 


	5. Chapter 4: I'll Get What I Want

Tenaega had successfully knocked herself out, by accident of course, while she was being dragged to the small Resistance holding facility, her flailing and screaming causing her to slam her head into the ground and fall unconscious. 

So when she woke up, Tenaega had no clue where she was. She slowly opened her eyes and wiggled her hands and feet, testing her mobility but finding that she was chained firmly to a large chair, preventing her escape. Realizing that she was trapped and remembering that she hadn’t been able to complete her mission, Tenaega began screaming and wriggling, fighting her restraints as hard as she could. 

She had let herself become distracted by Solo, letting her emotions affect her actions and make her weaker than normal. Anger continued to swell inside of her the longer she tried to escape, cursing herself for letting him get to her, for letting her feelings for him get in the way. 

Understanding that she wasn’t going to be able to escape by struggling, Tenaega began to look around her, taking in the dark cell she was trapped in. There was very little light, making it difficult for her to figure out where on the base she was. Squinting, she was able to make out that the majority of the shallow light was coming through the door in the front corner of the room where a large cluster of Resistance members were standing guard on the other side. Leaning forward to the best of her ability and squinting harder, she was able to count how many there were, size them up.  _ Six of them, six ill-trained soldiers. Pathetic!  _

Shutting her eyes, Tenaega began to take deep breaths, trying to calm her mind, come up with a plan b. There was a very slim possibility that she would be able to get out of the binding chains and take out the six guards without a weapon, but even after that, she knew she wouldn’t have enough time to find Ben, kill him and Rey, and then make it back to her ship. As much as she hated to admit it, Tenaega understood that Ben knew her inside and out, he knew her attack methods and could probably guess any of her plans. 

So she had to get  _ Ben  _ to come to  _ her _ . 

“Hey guys,” she said in a sing-song voice, making sure to draw the words out, hoping to annoy the guards. “I’d just  _ love  _ to speak with your dear leader,  _ Solo _ .” 

Only silence came from the outside of the door, but the shuffling of feet and their sighs told Tenaega that they heard her. She began to make clucking noises with her tongue, thinking she might be able to get a rise out of them, but they only continued standing outside the cell door. 

“Hey, bucketheads, I know you heard me: I want to talk to Solo.” 

They began to whisper to each other, thinking that Tenaega couldn’t hear them, but they were dead wrong. 

_ “Ok, Finn, you do it, go get him.”  _

_ “What?! Why me?”  _

_ “Because you’re the one always kissing his ass,”  _

_ “I am not! Poe,  _ you’re  _ the one always trying to get him in bed,”  _

_ “Shut up, I don’t do that.”  _

Tenaega listened intently, an amused expression crossing her face. She grew weary of the conversation when they continued to bicker back and forth, not reaching an agreement of who would be the one to get Ben. 

“You know, this whole issue could be solved if you just let me out, then I could find him myself.” 

The male voices stopped dead, a cautious silence filling the air. Until one of them burst out laughing. 

“Did you really think we’d let scum like you just roam free after what you’ve just done?” 

She rolled her eyes in response. “Ever heard of a joke, dumbass?” 

“Hey, Sith bitch, you don’t get to talk to him like that.” 

“Chill out Finn,” 

“No! I never let  _ anyone  _ talk to you like that,” 

Tenaega sighed audibly, expressing her annoyance. “This whole little romance is cute and all, but I’m  _ still  _ waiting to talk to Ben fucking Solo!” 

Silence again, followed by more half assed whispering. 

_ “Fine, just send someone else to go get him: Sierra, you do it.”  _

The sound of a female voice grumbling and then the soft sound of shuffling boots, the missing guard allowing another small stream of light into the cell. 

“Now that wasn’t so hard now was it?” 

“Shut up, Sith bitch.” 

Tenaega smiled contentedly to herself, happy with this one little victory. She hadn’t been able to kill the people she wanted to, but at least she was pissing off Resistance soldiers.  _ They must not be very high ranking if they’re charged with guarding me...I wonder how they know Solo?  _

While she waited, she rolled her neck and shoulders, the stiffened vertebrae cracking and popping, the sickening sounds bouncing off the concrete walls. After she had enough of that, she strained her wrists within their confines so she could crack her knuckles, then her wrists, then her toes inside her combat boots, filling the surrounding area with the unnatural sounds of snapping joints around. 

“Would you  _ please  _ stop that?” 

One of the men groaned as if he might be sick, stopping Tenaega from wrenching herself around in her seat to crack her back. Rolling her eyes, she finished off her routine, releasing the tension down the length of her spine with a series of cracks, 

“Make me.” 

At her words, the door to the cell was wrenched open, filling the room with pale light. Tenaega froze in her seat, watching the huge, dark outline of a man walking towards her. The door swung shut with a slight creak and the guards disappeared, leaving Tenaega alone with figure. 

“Tens, what have you gotten yourself into?” 

His deep, baritone voice filled the room entirely, making Tenaega fight the urge to wiggle nervously in her seat. She had heard this voice so many times, speaking in so many different settings, and so many different tones, but she had never heard him like  _ this _ . 

_ “Ben,” _


	6. Chapter 5: Resurfacing Feelings

“Or do I still call you Kylo because how the hell am I supposed to know who you  _ really  _ are?” 

Ben stood silently in front of her with his arms crossed, a pained expression etched into his face. Ever since he left the First Order, Ben had tried his best to push aside anything that would remind him of his past life, of the countless mistakes he had made. 

But thoughts of Tenaega would always break through. 

He couldn’t bring himself to let her go, to simply just move on and forget her. When he found her, Tenaega was just another lost soul, fighting to survive, having no place to call home. And that’s what drew him to her. He saw so much of himself in those eyes, those piercing, honey brown eyes that would look at him in awe. 

Tenaega fought by his side with no second thoughts, only choosing to question his methods and teachings every now and then. But he didn’t mind her attitude: her snarky comments and intelligent wit were all just part of what made Tenaega, well, Tenaega. 

Seeing her like this, looking even more lost and broken than she ever had before, hurt Kylo to his core. He couldn’t help but feel he had lost her, that there was no chance of bringing her to the Lightside of the Force. 

But if there was one thing his mother had taught him, it was to have  _ hope _ . 

“Tenaega,” he spoke to her softly, slowly walking towards her as he raised his hand to pull the little string that hung from the cell’s ceiling, flooding the room with the lamp’s pale light. “I have a feeling we have a lot to talk about.” 

She watched him warily, eyes wide and chest rising and falling faster with her quickening breath. “I just told you I wanted to fucking kill you, what else is there to talk about?” 

Ben sighed and pulled up a chair from the corner of the room, placing it across from Tenaega before plopping down onto it, making sure to keep a few feets distance between them. 

“Still have that attitude I see,” 

“Well, you were always the one who fueled it,” Tenaega smiled at him ever so slightly before looking away, eyes darkening. “Until you left.” 

He looked down at the floor, his large hands clutching at his knees. “So let's talk about it.” 

Her eyes widened as she looked up, trying to meet his gaze. “But you  _ never  _ talked about  _ anything _ .” 

“That was before.” 

“Before what? Before  _ her _ ?” 

The last word left her mouth with a sickening bolt of anger, pure disgust evident in her voice. 

“You mean Rey?” 

She tore her eyes away from his again, a pink flush of embarrassment crossing her face. “Yes,  _ the girl _ .” 

Ben couldn’t help but notice the jealous feelings that seemed to ooze off of her, penetrating the air, filling the room. The pure hatred that Tenaega had for someone she never even met was the only thing on her mind. 

“It wasn’t just Rey, but she  _ did  _ change things, I know you felt it.” 

She nodded shyly, remembering the change that she began to sense in him before he even left. He became distant, avoiding being alone in a room with Tenaega in fear of her being able to read his mind and sense how he was feeling. Tenaega had tried her hardest to just ignore it, but the hurt and sting of rejection made it impossible for her to just shut her eyes to the evident change in his behavior. 

“She brought me back, Tenaega. She brought me  _ home _ .” 

“Because the First Order wasn’t good enough for you,” she spat with a sneer, feeling her heart break at his confession. “Because  _ I  _ wasn’t enough for you.” 

The silence in the room was deafening, the only sound visible to Tenaega was her heart beating rapidly in her chest. 

“Tens it was more than that, it-” 

“No,  _ you  _ left  _ me _ . You left me  _ alone _ , just like I was before.” She twisted her head so she could wipe the tears dripping down her face onto her shoulder, her hands clasped together behind her back within the chains, digits trembling. 

Ben scooted his seat closer, leaning forward and placing a finger under her chin, lifting her face to his. “And I’m  _ sorry _ . I’m truly, and utterly sorry.” 

Tenaega held his gaze for just a second, allowing herself to get lost in his eyes before ripping herself back to the reality of the situation, her anger. 

“I don’t want your shitty apologies,” she snapped her head away from him, facing the wall over her right shoulder. “I've moved on, Solo.” 

“So why are you here then? Because it seems to me, you  _ haven’t  _ moved on.” 

She chewed her lip, continuing to face away from him as she came up with her response. She knew deep down that she  _ definitely  _ hadn’t moved on, the pain in her chest and the ache in her throat from holding back sobs confirmed that. But Tenaega didn’t want Ben to think she was weak, she wanted him to think that she didn’t need him, just like she had tried to convince herself, 

“I came here to kill your little girlfriend Rey. I’ve made it obvious that I don’t like the bitch.” 

“And why is that?” 

“Well for starters, she’s annoying, weak-minded, oh, and she’s the reason why you  _ betrayed  _ me and the First Order.” 

Ben sighed and leaned back in his chair. “So you admit it, you haven’t moved on.” 

Silence. 

“That’s what I thought.” 

With a grunt, Ben got up from his seat and rolled his neck and shoulders, the cell again being forced to listen to the sound of cracking joints. “Well, I’m afraid you’re not going to get what you came for; not  _ that  _ part of it at least.” 

She rolled her eyes and watched him walk towards the cell door. “And why is that?” 

“Because Rey is dead.” 

Tenaega’s mouth dropped open, simply staring at the back of his head in shock. “ _ What? _ ” 

Ben took a deep breath with his back still turned to her, hand on the doorknob. “When we finally destroyed the Emperor and got rid of the First Order for good, Rey sacrificed herself for it all in order to complete her destiny.” 

Slowly and with controlled emotion, he turned back to face Tenaega, seeing the surprise and interest in her eyes. 

“And I wasn’t able to save her, I couldn’t bring her back.” 

Tenaega’s expression softened as she looked at him, sensing the torment he still felt, the pain and sadness that had stuck with him for the past three years. Almost all of the anger she was harboring against him slowly began to dissipate, her empathy for him taking over her emotions. 

“Ben, I-” 

“So I guess you got what you wanted anyway.” 

Despite her protests and her desperate calls for him to come back, Ben stormed out of the room, letting the door to Tenaega’s cell slam shut behind him. He had to get out of there. He couldn't spend another second alone with her, those old, hideous,  _ furious  _ feelings he hadn’t felt in three years were dangerously close to resurfacing. 

“Back to guarding her,” he spat at the two Resistance officers that were waiting at the end of the hall. “And you two,” he nodded at Finn and Poe, “Come with me.” 


	7. Chapter 6: Old Memories Die Hard

Generals Finn and Poe followed Solo out of the holding facility, trailing behind his footsteps nervously as they walked throughout the base. 

_ “What do you think he wants?”  _ Finn glanced over at Poe, being careful to whisper softly. 

_ “It’s probably about that girl. Who is she anyway?”  _

_ “I don’t know, but she sure has pissed him off. I haven’t seen him like this since…”  _ Finn’s voice drifted off, remembering how Ben used to be, when he was still Kylo Ren. 

“You know I can hear you guys, right?” Solo called over his shoulder, his tone softer but still menacing. 

“Uh right, of course you can.” Poe shot Finn a dirty look before stepping past him and following Ben into one of the enormous tents. 

The two of them stopped just inside the mouth of the tent, watching their fellow leader pace back and forth, absentmindedly picking up objects off of tables and putting them back down randomly. 

“So uh,” Poe cleared his throat and took a tentative step towards Ben, “What did you want us for?” 

He finally stopped pacing and stood behind a table covered in various plans, placing his hands on it and leaning forward. When he looked up at the two men in front of him, he felt a small ache in his chest: seeing them everyday was a reminder of Rey, a reminder of what they  _ all  _ lost. 

“And who’s the girl?’ 

Ben shot Finn a nasty look, causing Poe to nudge him and shake his head disapprovingly. 

“Tenaega is one of my former students, a  _ girl  _ who’s been heavily trained in the Darkside.” 

“But why is she here?” Poe’s face was etched with concern. “Did- did she just come here to  _ kill _ ?”

Ben looked down at the table, nodding his head sadly. “To put it mildly, she’s angry that I ‘abandoned’ her.” 

“Why did you? Why did you abandon her?” Finn immediately regretted asking this question, Ben’s expression making it clear that this was something he still felt guilty about. 

“Because, dumbass, I came here to help you twats!” 

“Hey, none of us asked for your help,” 

“Oh really? Because you guys weren’t doing too hot until I showed up.” Ben bared his teeth and crossed his arms over his chest.

Poe pinched the bridge of his nose, grimacing. “Come on guys, this was  _ three years  _ ago, we-”

“Rey could’ve handled it!” Finn seemed like he was spitting fire, his lips trembling when he said her name. 

“You weren’t there, you had  _ no clue  _ what she was up against!” 

“Well maybe she would still be here if you hadn’t decided to ‘help’.” 

The air seemed to immediately grow colder at Finn’s words, the heat from their anger being replaced by the chill of their sorrow. 

With a sigh, Poe stepped in between the two of them, pushing their snarling faces away from each other. “Look, guys, we all miss her. But what’s happened, it’s not going to change.” 

Ben turned his back to the two of them, fighting the urge to start slicing something with his lightsaber, something he hadn’t done in a  _ long  _ time. He just couldn’t seem to shake the feelings that Tenaega had forced him to remember: that troubling anger, loneliness,  _ the power of the Darkside.  _

Poe tentatively placed his hand on Ben’s shoulder, the comforting gesturing helping him to push those potentially devastating thoughts away. “Rey would have wanted us to move on.” 

With a sigh, Ben nodded, giving Poe and Finn a smile that was more like a grimace. “You’re right, let’s just- let’s just deal with Tens right now.” 

“Tens?” 

The look in Ben’s eyes was distant, like he hadn’t even heard what Finn had just said. “That was always my nickname for Tenaega.” He seemed to be drifting away to fonder memories of her, but the anger towards Tenaega that was radiating off of Finn and Poe brought him back to the situation at hand. 

“She just killed  _ at least  _ twenty of our men and women, so I’m not really sure this is a time for a history of nicknames.” 

“ _ Fine _ ,” Ben pressed his palms into his eyes, rubbing aggressively before looking back at the two disgruntled men in front of him. 

Though he had been with the Resistance for three years now, Ben still didn’t entirely feel at home, especially since Rey and his mother were no longer there. He knew he should be feeling sympathetic and hating Tenaeaga for what she did, but she was only doing what he had taught her, the only thing she knew how to do. He knew what evil she was capable of, but when he looked at her, he still saw that lost teenage girl who would follow after him with a smile or an obnoxious comment. 

“Tenaega came by herself, but I think there’s a good chance that she didn’t work alone, that there are other people out there who  _ also  _ want to hunt us down.” 

Finn and Poe looked at each other and then back at Ben. “More people like her? People who were in the First Order?” 

“Possibly,” Ben stroked his chin, looking down at the floor. “If she survived and found us, then others probably will do the same.” 

  
“Do you think you’d be able to get her to talk, tell us what she knows?” 

Ben looked back up at them with a little smirk playing on his lips. “I guess we’ll find out.” 

Ben knew Tenaega like the back of his own hand, could read her like a book. He had always been able to see deep into her mind, sensing all of her emotions, her thoughts, her desires… Tenaega was predictable, even though she tried her hardest to hide how she was  _ really  _ feeling.    
  


“I’ll try and find a file on her, see what she’s been up to the past few years,” Poe cast a wary look at Ben, not liking how calm he was being about this whole situation, how he still seemed to have fond feelings for a girl who had just murdered some of their closest friends. 

“I still have access to the old First Order system, I’m sure- Solo, where are you going?” Finn halfheartedly began to follow Ben out of the tent, annoyed that he was  _ once again  _ doing things without consulting him and Poe first. 

“You idiots are wasting your time, I’ll just talk to Tens myself.” 

Finn and Poe stood just outside the tent, watching Ben stride back towards the Resistance holding facility. 

“Talking to her didn’t really seem to work out an hour ago,” Finn sighed to himself, turning to look down at Poe. “I’m getting worried about him, that girl, she’s just a reminder of his old life.” 

Poe shrugged and threw an arm over Finn’s shoulder, turning back to watch Ben enter the building. “If we can get her on our side, you won’t have to worry, babe.” 

“ _What_ _did I tell you about calling me that in public?_ ” 

“What, ‘babe’?” 

“Yes,  _ that _ ,” Finn hissed at Poe under his breath, looking around carefully to make sure no one was listening. 

“Oh come on, I know you love it.” Poe wiggled his eyebrows at him, smirking at the look on Finn’s face, trying his hardest to stay mad at him. 

“Keep telling yourself that, Dameron. Let’s get back to work, see what we can dig up about little miss Sith bitch.” 

… 

“Back so soon, Solo? I knew you couldn’t get enough of me.” A look of surprise crossed Tenaega’s face when Ben stromed into the room and began to undo the chains that bound her to the chair. 

“I’m not here to flirt and chat about old times, Tens. I have some questions and I expect you to answer them.” 

She smirked and stood up from her seat once the chains clattered to the ground, rubbing her wrists and stretching. “Or what? I know you’ve changed your ways,  _ Solo.  _ There’s no way your going to-” 

With a snarl, Ben shoved Tenaega’s shoulders, forcing her up against the concrete wall of the cell. Her momentary shock disappeared even though she was pinned beneath him as she stared into his eyes, his face screwed up with anger. 

  
“Now  _ there’s  _ the man I know and love.” 


End file.
